I kid you not. I've been depressed for quite some time over the last few months. I was sort of going through quarter life crisis which didn't happen often among people my age. Most of my friends are still in and out of relationships, starting fresh in the working world, some still studying, travelling more than I am (out of Malaysia that is!), having the time of their lives clubbing and so much more while I feel like the old one who has been through so much in life although we are all of the same age or one or two years difference.
I didn't really know what was happening to me or why I felt like that. I have the best ever man in the world for the rest of my life. I have a job, a house, a car and I can't really ask for any more other than what I am blessed with in my life. I've build quite a successful online boutique over the past 3 years and I have friends and families who care tonz about me. I have such a supportive husband-to-be and we will have such a happy life together in the future. My condo unit is coming around in just 3 months and yet, I felt that a part of me was missing, wanting more, finding something to fill up that empty space (no, I'm not being emo here).
Initially, I figured out why I was so depressed. I wanted to travel and to be around the world. I want to explore and be adventurous. I want to go to places like Thailand, Australia, Singapore (yes, I have no passport that's why) and most of all, I want to go to Europe. I want to see caves, temples, quirky markets and exotic beaches. I want to be in a romantic place like Venice! Before I go on anymore, I want you to know that Travel & Living is one of my favourite channel on Astro. I want to experience the world with my own eyes with my own senses and not by feeling them through the tv from watching Bridget's Sexiest Beaches or Corwin's Quests. I want to taste different kinds of cultural food, feel the earth!
I know I sound like one of those people from the Travel & Living channel but I really do while I am still young. At 23, I have yet to step out of Malaysia and nothing is more depressing than that. Other people I know who are of my age have already been to places like Hong Kong, Japan, Italy, Venice, Paris..it is quite sad just thinking about it.
Dreams will always be dreams (if you have no money)
Sometimes, dreams might come true (cheaper ones) but other times, they remain as it is.
So looking pass that, I was slowly recovering from my quarter life crisis because I hardly think about that anymore. It gets tired after a while and I focused on other aspects in my life that may result to the crisis I was experiencing. It was my job. I sort of have this really great vision of how my current company will be, say in a few years given but it was nowhere near what I imagined it could have been now. I've worked for my current company for over 3 years and I have put most of my sweat and tears trying to bring the company forward but I had minimal support. I was sincere and had extreme passion to grow with it, but it takes two to clap and I was the only one clapping. One thing I am proud of is a yearly publication that I managed to bring up. Creative wise and content wise compared to previous years and sales for the book has never been better!
Well, after 3 years I decided to leave. As much as I really want to stay, I couldn't waste another 3 years not knowing where this company might be. I am glad that it is in much better shape than when I first joined. With that, I know that I have contributed my share to the company for where it is now. I have learnt so much just working here, I'll miss the people and I'll miss having slow mornings most of the time. I'll miss the freedom, I'll miss knowing that everything I do, I do to make this place better. As much as I am sad to leave, I am happy and excited to begin my new found position at my future employer somewhere in November.
Wish me all the best as I will be needing it :D