Monday, March 2, 2009

Making the promise by Douglas Robin Tan

I'd already planned the whole thing a good few weeks prior to our vacation... a good few weeks which involved quite a number of sleepless nights, perhaps due to me being excited or nervous... less of the latter I'm sure...

Unlike most cases, I'm proud to say that the "am I ready to commit?" thought never even crossed my mind. The only obstacle in my way seemed to be finances... which of course, can be worked out... and i can only hope that one day, i will be able to independently do more than just put food on the table and provide a roof over our heads... right now, i can't do it yet.
But regardless, i felt it was the right time...

On the 18th of February 2009... i decided to get the rings... one for her and one for myself.
As embarrassing as this may sound, i wasn't even sure which finger an engagement ring is worn on, but thanks to Wikipedia, i then knew for sure :)
It was a pretty tough time choosing a ring... to make matters worse, i wasn't at all sure of the sizing!
After a good few minutes of pondering, i decided on a pair, hoping to somehow estimate her finger size when i got back to see her later...
Unfortunately, i failed miserably... I was as unsure as i was before i tried to check.
So, i decided to just go along with it HOPING that the ring would be the right size...
The rings i chose were pretty simple, exactly how i like things.
For what it's worth, it represents the simple fact that i love her.
And if you've watched "I now pronounce you chuck and larry", a superbly hillarious Rob Schneider played a character which quoted: " the ring is like a circle, which is neverending... not like a square, which has edges... it's round, like a circle, and it never ends... not like a square.... it's a circle..."
Which is what love should be like... never ending :)

A day or two later, with my long time buddy Charmane for company, i decided to get the rings engraved with a simple yet greatly significant set of characters depicting the date that i was hoping to remember for the rest of my life.
We would be in Pulau Perhentian from the engraved date, 25.02.2009, till the 28th, so i did have 3 other dates to choose from as i wanted to give her no less than a memorably romantic proposal on the beach, under the stars, with waves washing ashore, caressed by the cool ocean breeze, and the feeling of soft sand beneath our toes...
But i figured proposing on the first night, would really make the whole holiday that much more memorable...

No turning back now :)

1 and a half weeks later, we boarded what was to be a terrible flight for her.
The nausea pill she took seemed to make things worse instead of helping subdue the sickness....
I won't go into detail, but i was really really worried throughout the whole flight...
"would she be feeling OK tonight??" i kept asking myself whiles comforting her throughout the 1 hour we'd prefer to forget....
Thankfully, everything turned out OK as soon as we checked in the resort.

Tuna Bay hadn't changed much. If anything, it looked better than before and the previous batch of staff who made it clear they weren't enjoying their work, was replaced with a new bunch of really really fantastic people who never hesitated to be of help... Kudos to Tuna Bay.... Kudos...

Shortly after settling in, we headed to the beach and i staked out THE spot.... and to my horror, I realized that there were no lights close to the deckchairs which i was hoping to have her sit down on whiles i did my thing... And i needed light because i planned to record the whole thing on her camera...

So... i decided not to wait till night time,
Which meant i would have to forfeit that blanket of stars i'd been hoping for.

Instead, i settled for an even more beautiful evening sunset ambiance, set against a scenic sky with a soft light blue tone, scattered with clouds highlighted by light orange linings...
And more than mere consolation was a lone star in the sky, chaperoned by a smiling moon which seemed to be looking down on us as i prepared for this once in a lifetime moment...
I couldn't have asked for anything better. It was as if nature rejected my plans, and gave me a better one instead. One which was surely suited to making it an even more special occasion, one that she deserved...

So there she was, appearing through the lens of the camera which i nervously tried to position...
I finally got a nice view through the LCD screen, accidentally took a photo as she looked at the camera, and what a nice photo it was.... her silhouette made me smile....
I gathered my thoughts and switched the camera to video mode and then, presented her with the ring I'd been holding on to for so long.

My proposal was greeted with her smile that literally made me weak at the knees, a sensation i conveniently hid as i knelt down and gazed into her eyes.
Expressing myself usually comes as second nature to me, but i was so overwhelmed by the occasion that i fumbled my words, struggled to find the right things to say, and totally forgot which finger i should put the ring on soon after...
I mumbled some stuff i barely remember, but i think it came out alright as she responded with an even sweeter smile, tears-of-joy filled eyes, and a passionate kiss.

I guess that's a yes.... =)

So we sat there in each others arms after i gently fit the ring onto her slim finger, cherishing every second as it passed.
From that moment on, we were changed. There was an even stronger bond between us.
And i knew that everything was right.

How do i know ?
Because as i embraced her, i felt that my love for her was stronger than it had ever been in the past 5 years and 10 months....
Because even after all those years, her smile still gives me butterflies in my tummy..
Because eventhough i see her almost everyday, i never fail to miss her when i lay in my bed alone at night..
Because when i don't hear her voice, my day seems incomplete...
Because when she's sad, i'm sad...
Because even with all my flaws, she's accepted me after all these years...
Because all the signs above are the symptoms of finding a new love and of being in love, and that's what loving someone is all about.

We shared an amazing remaining 3 days together. What I'd like to think of as an engagement honeymoon, filled with great food, cam-whoring, pina colada's, and everything in between.
Could i have asked for anything better? Definitely not.

The proposal, and the moment was nothing short of perfect.
Albeit with a ring that was 0.5mm too big.

And unlike many in the world today, i intend to keep the promise i made.

I love you... always have.... always will..

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